Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Delay

            My flight has been delayed three hours, and I’ve been sitting here since early this morning.
           
            I like to think that my plane would have crashed had it left on time. Two older men are sitting close to me. “I’m gonna use the bathroom,” says the big one (and he is big, I hope I don’t sit next to him). “Take your time,” grunts the other (much skinnier), “You’ve got two hours.” He doesn’t seem happy about the delay (but who would?).
          
            There in the corner is an attractive woman on her iPad. She has walked down the hall twice. She knows she’s pretty, and could probably talk all day about how her life is more exciting, more enthralling, than mine. I hope I don’t sit by her.
           
            Then there’s the bald headed guy next to her. And he’s really into her, because he just looked at her butt when she walked down the hall. At least that’s what it looked like.

            I’ve been told my whole life that humans are communal beings, but not many people talk to each other here in the airport. They talk to their cell phones. So maybe we are communal. Just communal from a safe distance. I wonder what people did twenty years ago…

            A man pulls out a Sudoku magazine. I hate Sudoku. Only lame people like math games.

            “Our House” by Madness comes across the radio. It reminds me of home and how I want to be there instead of here. I couldn’t imagine having my home in California. Just like my California friends could never imagine having their home in Washington.

            But for me it wouldn’t feel right going anywhere else.

            People use the electric outlets greedily here. When the depression of the 1930s hit, it was greed over food. When flight delays hit, it’s greed over outlets.

            An added benefit of having the bigger battery in my computer is that I don’t have to talk to people who are using the outlets. I think everyone enjoys people watching, but very few enjoy people talking—at least to strangers.

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           When I finally get on the plane, I smile at an old man sitting down five seats in front of me. I think he tried smiling back… Then there’s this small Asian woman whose face is in a continuous state of shock.

            Are the flight attendants really nice people, or do they fake it? There is a male flight attendant today. I think there’s this unspoken rule that male flight attendants are gay, but this one doesn’t seem very gay. 

            Whenever I fly home, I always drink ginger ale as my complementary drink. Then I have to pee.

            Contrary to most people’s opinion about the “lavatory,” I like feeling closed in when I go to the bathroom. There are two things I dislike about it:

  1. Many people have used it, which is gross. The maxim “ignorance is bliss” does not apply to public bathrooms.
  2. I don’t like the suction-y sound the toilet makes when you flush (it makes me feel like someone down on the ground is going to get a nice surprise).

Apart from these pitfalls, I like the smell of the soap. 

4 comments:

  1. 1. Was there anyone that you saw that did want to sit next to?
    2. I like your descriptions of people. It was very believeable and very perceptive of the reality around you.
    3. I love the ginger ale comment. I always get that too. When I was little, I rarely ever had it so I was always excited to go on plane trips because they had it.

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  2. Hey Britt,
    Thank's for your response. You're the first person to ever respond to a post on my blog! Yay!!
    To answer your question, I really didn't have a preference about who I wanted to sit next to, I just used those two for humorous purposes.
    I'm glad to hear someone else gets ginger ale! I like ginger ale a lot, but my parents never bought it growing up either.

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  3. Ok so I was reading this at work and had to try really hard not to burst out laughing! I love your blatant honesty about random things. Especially the part about the bathroom and liking the way the soap smells ;P lol

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  4. Hey Lynnae! Thanks for the comment, and I'm glad you liked this. Indeed, the soap smells delicious :-)

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